Advice & Adventures: Back to Work

I think it's very important that you at least discuss your plans/feelings about going back to work post-babe with your spouse. It's also something you should discuss with your employer. Some companies offer maternity leave, and then you can take FMLA to extend your time at home with the babe. My company didn't have maternity leave, so I had to get short-term disability (or not get a paycheck). Be sure you have a plan for how long you and your spouse will stay out when the little one arrives.

I also want to point out that just because you are able to be a stay-at-home-mom doesn't mean it's right for you - or your family. Don't feel guilty if it doesn't feel right!

We were in baby heaven for a few weeks after the babe arrived. Hubs was able to take a lengthy vacation from work, and then began working from home for a few days to ease back. Each of our mothers had come and gone and there we were.

I had a full 6 weeks off work, but then had to go back. I think it would have been easier if I had worked from an office, but I'm fortunate to work from home (for the company I worked at before we moved cross-country).

At first I tried to make it work. Took care of the babe and half-typed with one hand. That worked, sort of, but the second I had to make a phone call there would be a wail or a coo. I realized that in trying to do both, I was not being great at either.

I bit the bullet and we started looking into daycare. Below are the options we looked into and some pros/cons of each:

Family Help:

Pro: Cheap (or free), someone you trust, familiar environment (your home or family member's home)
Con: no training, may be awkward if they disagree on your parenting choices, may not be a long-term option
Us: we don't have family close so this wasn't an option

In Home Nanny (your home):

Pro: 100% attention for your child, baby stays in their environment, not exposed to other kids germs
Con: lack of supervision for the nanny, no interaction with other children
Us: I would probably come and help when the babe was crying, and I wasn't comfortable leaving him alone with someone. I did see on TV that's it's legal in all states to have a camera in your own home (audio recording without consent isn't legal in all states - nor is it legal to put a camera in a bathroom or other room with perceived privacy) *I'm no lawyer though*

In Home Care (nanny home):

Pro: usually fewer children, home environment, often a less expensive option, social with other children
Con: lack of supervision for the nanny, exposed to other children germs, often a wide age range, harder to find, potentially inexperienced
Us: Without having family/friends in the area for recommendations it was hard to find one of these.

Daycare:

Pro: regulated, peer supervision of caregivers, a curriculum, social interaction, usually broken up by age range, state/national accreditation
Con: exposed to germs, expensive, may not be able to accommodate all parenting choices (like cloth diapers), often have wait lists (register when you're pregnant)
Us: this is what we decided on

We took a tour of 4 daycares. Some offered only full-time options (5 days a week all day). Others offered only full-day options but you could go 2-5 times a week. Some were cool with cloth diapers, others didn't want to keep up with them (under the guise of 'sanitation'). Some were messy & disorganized, but one felt just right. We started 2 days a week for 5 hours a day. At first it was hard to rationalize paying someone to care for the babe when I was sitting at home. Yes, I was working a 40-hour week while 'sitting at home' but logic/rational thinking is no match against pregnancy hormones!!

One day I took the babe to school and he grinned when the teacher took him out of my arms. It hit me in that instant that he's getting 100% attention while he is at school, and I can 100% focus on work during that time. Once he's back at home I can give him more of my attention. After a few months we went to 5 days of half-day care. I'm able to fit all calls/meetings into the mornings, and now that he's a bit more self-sufficient, I can get lots of work done in the afternoon too. It's worked out well for all of us. It's also nice that they know what to do with him from a developmental standpoint! Plus, look at all the fun he has: