Back to Work

I think it's very important that you at least discuss your plans/feelings about going back to work post-babe with your spouse.  It's also something you should discuss with your employer.  Some companies offer maternity leave, and then you can take FMLA to extend your time at home with the babe.  My company didn't have maternity leave, so I had to get short-term disability (or not get a paycheck). Be sure you have a plan for how long you and your spouse will stay out when the little one arrives.

I also want to point out that just because you are able to be a stay-at-home-mom doesn't mean it's right for you - or your family. Don't feel guilty if it doesn't feel right!

We were in baby heaven for a few weeks after the babe arrived.  Hubs was able to take a lengthy vacation from work, and then began working from home for a few days to ease back.  Each of our mothers had come and gone and there we were.

I had a full 6 weeks off work, but then had to go back. I think it would have been easier if I had worked from an office, but I'm fortunate to work from home (for the company I worked at before we moved cross-country). 

At first I tried to make it work.  Took care of the babe and half-typed with one hand. That worked, sort of, but the second I had to make a phone call there would be a wail or a coo. I realized that in trying to do both, I was not being great at either.

I bit the bullet and we started looking into daycare. Below are the options we looked into and some pros/cons of each:

Family Help:

• Pro: Cheap (or free), someone you trust, familiar environment (your home or family member's home)
• Con: no training, may be awkward if they disagree on your parenting choices, may not be a long-term option
• Us: we don't have family close so this wasn't an option

In Home Nanny (your home):

• Pro: 100% attention for your child, baby stays in their environment, not exposed to other kids germs
• Con: lack of supervision for the nanny, no interaction with other children
• Us: I would probably come and help when the babe was crying, and I wasn't comfortable leaving him alone with someone.  I did see on TV that's it's legal in all states to have a camera in your own home (audio recording without consent isn't legal in all states - nor is it legal to put a camera in a bathroom or other room with perceived privacy) *I'm no lawyer though*

In Home Care (nanny home):

• Pro: usually fewer children, home environment, often a less expensive option, social with other children
• Con: lack of supervision for the nanny, exposed to other children germs, often a wide age range, harder to find, potentially inexperienced 
• Us: Without having family/friends in the area for recommendations it was hard to find one of these. 

Daycare:

• Pro: regulated, peer supervision of caregivers, a curriculum, social interaction, usually broken up by age range, state/national accreditation
• Con: exposed to germs, expensive, may not be able to accommodate all parenting choices (like cloth diapers), often have wait lists (register when you're pregnant)
• Us: this is what we decided on

We took a tour of 4 daycares.  Some offered only full-time options (5 days a week all day). Others offered only full-day options but you could go 2-5 times a week.  Some were cool with cloth diapers, others didn't want to keep up with them (under the guise of 'sanitation').  Some were messy & disorganized, but one felt just right. We started 2 days a week for 5 hours a day.  At first it was hard to rationalize paying someone to care for the babe when I was sitting at home.  Yes, I was working a 40-hour week while 'sitting at home' but logic/rational thinking is no match against pregnancy hormones!!  

One day I took the babe to school and he grinned when the teacher took him out of my arms.  It hit me in that instant that he's getting 100% attention while he is at school, and I can 100% focus on work during that time.  Once he's back at home I can give him more of my attention.  After a few months we went to 5 days of half-day care.  I'm able to fit all calls/meetings into the mornings, and now that he's a bit more self-sufficient, I can get lots of work done in the afternoon too. It's worked out well for all of us.  It's also nice that they know what to do with him from a developmental standpoint! Plus, look at all the fun he has:

2 months old - they put glue on his hand and let him hit a paper.
They then added sand to the glue.

learning about the color blue

painting with seashells (after learning about texture)

fun things to play with

feet!! 4 months

graduated up to the bigger baby room - hooray toys!!

This was wrapped as a Christmas present - it made me cry when I opened it!

Our system is working out perfectly for us, but there isn't a single right fit for everyone.  

What do you look for in childcare? Was it hard going back to work?

Homemade Baby Food

Since I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to make my own baby food.  We were hoping that we could go straight to baby led weaning, but the babe wasn't quite ready to 'pinch' the food yet.  

I recommend not spending money on a baby food system.  You can steam in the microwave, on the stove, or in a rice cooker and the blender will become your new best friend.  I've noticed that I tend to make large batches of food, and baby processors never seem to be big enough.  I'm all about efficiency, so the bigger the batch, the more happy the mama! (plus, not having another appliance makes the hubs happy).

We received a really neat steamer/mixer/bottle warmer as a gift, so we gave it a go - here we have avocados mixing on the right and butternut squash steaming on the left. It got the job done, but notice how small those containers are!

Avocado is an easy food to make - peel and blend!  It also has great fats to help brain development. Other foods need to be steamed first (like the squash) and then blended.

These silicone ice cube trays make perfect 1 oz food cubes for easy freezing/thawing.  I got them at Bed Bath & Beyond, but they no longer sell them (although I've seen them around in other stores) Here's the avocado ready to go:

Butternut Squash:

Just put in the freezer to harden, then pop out:

Avocado cubes:

Butternut squash:

Bagged in a freezer bag (label with food and date):

Nice and slim for storage:

Ready for the babe:

It's so easy to whip up a big batch and have it ready for a few cubes a day. We have all sorts of fun baby food recipes coming. 

We introduce a single food every week to watch for allergic reactions. I'm a bit more vigilant (neurotic?) because of my severe food allergies as a baby. We're also holding off on grains for a while (for a variety of reasons - look for a future post).

Boppy Cover

We were given a Boppy nursing pillow at our shower, and I wanted to cover it with fabric that matched our nursery.  I found some beautiful upholstery bamboo fabric in a black/white/gray houndstooth fabric.  If you haven't felt bamboo fabric - you should... it's amazing!! 

I looked online for an easy template for a Boppy cover, but was unable to find one - so I decided to wing it.  Turns out, it wasn't too hard!

Here are some shots of how it all came together:

I put a 4 inch fold in the center of the back fabric (2 inches when overlapped).  Then, I traced the pillow on the 'wrong' side of the fabric - then I dashed a line about 2 inches outside where I would sew.

I unfolded the overlap piece and cut about an inch outside of my dashed sew line:

I ran a straight stitch along the center edge I cut (where it had been folded), then I folded it over about an inch and sewed a hem.  I did this on either side of the cut piece:

I traced the pillow on the front fabric (no fold over on this one - it stays a single piece). I put the two together (overlapping in the back) and sewed on my black sew line.

The back has a nice overlap (from the fold) that helps get the Boppy in and out of the cover:

Tadaa!!!

We now have a beautiful Boppy cover that matches our future nursery!!

Birth Options

I want to preface this post with this statement: I am not a doctor or an expert. I have done my own research online, videos, books, etc. 

The way I see it, the options for who helps you deliver: Obstetrician, Midwife, Doula 

Where you deliver: Bed, Water, Manger (Christmas joke!)

You can mix and match almost any of these depending on your needs. There are some things to take into account when making the decision:
1) Your risk level - gestational diabetes, hypertension, other health complications that require medical supervision
2) Your fear level - some people are scared of birth, whether it's from horror stories from others, or women screaming on TV & in movies, or a simple lack of knowledge
3) Your vision of the birth - do you see yourself giving birth somewhere calm, quiet, peaceful - or do you see yourself in a bed with nurses just outside the door with family & friends coming to visit?
4) The level of involvement you want in your birth - do you want to call the shots, or just show up and let someone handle the decisions
5) Your aversion to interventions - how do you feel about labor induction, pain relief, position changes, surgery

The process I took (keeping in mind that every mom & every pregnancy is different):
-Went to an OB through the 20 week ultrasound.  Passed all tests, baby was growing normally, and all signs were pointing to a healthy pregnancy

-Asked my OB who would be delivering my baby.  The answer was, "One of our 8 doctors - whoever is on call." I further learned that 1/2 of those doctors were, and I quote my OB, "Old men who have a particular though on birth and tend to perform more episiotomies than the rest." WHAT?!?! That was my call to action.

-I looked into Midwifery.  A certified nurse midwife is trained in giving birth. They cannot perform a c-section. They tend to take a more natural labor progression than OBs do.  An OB is a trained surgeon, so in times of stress they go with what they know (C-section) versus a Midwife who usually has a whole host of 'tricks' up their sleeve to progress labor without surgery.

-I found a WONDERFUL midwife group that was based out of a major hospital.  I expected them to be 'granola/hippy-dippy' and judgmental if I wanted pain drugs.  NOT THE CASE - they were extremely open to discuss all options and I never once felt judged when I inquired about different options.

-Through some classes we took I found a doula.  Doulas are NOT medical professionals.  A doula is a 'helper of women' who are there to support the mother and guide her through labor (and help the dad).  Her focus is on keeping you comfortable and informed.  They stay by your side even when nurses / midwives change shifts.

-Looked into a water birth. Looked enticing, but being in a heated tub while laboring ended up sounding more uncomfortable than comfortable...We did have a GIANT tub in our hospital room though (for laboring).

-We ended up delivering in a hospital with a midwife and a doula by our side.  Birth story post coming soon.  It didn't go 100% according to plan, but ended up perfectly with our little babe!!

View from our room the day after delivery

Whatever decision you make, be sure it's an informed one.  Even if you know you want an OB in a hospital, go on tours.  We went to one hospital where I would be moved through FOUR rooms from the time I was admitted to the time I was discharged.  One hospital had a NICU for pre-term babies, and one birthing center would have us drive to a hospital in an emergency situation.  

The more informed you are, the more comfortable you will be when d-day comes!  It will also help you defend your decision to anyone who has conflicting opinions about YOUR BIRTH!  Seriously, people have no lack of opinions when it comes to your birth...

What helped make your decision on where/how you were going to give birth?

The Nursery

The fun thing about setting up the nursery is that the pregnancy becomes more of a reality.  It's finally a physical acknowledgement that this baby is coming (other than the big 'ol belly)! Plus it's heartwarming to watch the hubs put together furniture :)

We wanted to go neutral with our nursery, and we also wanted it to stay in the theme of the rest of our house.  Some nursery designs scream 'BABY!!!!!' and that just wasn't our style (although I've seen some SUPER CUTE ones).  We kept it neutral for two reasons: 1) we didn't know the babe's gender, and 2) we wanted to be able to use it for a future baby OR to grow with the babe as they got older.

The hardest part was picking out the wall color.  You can't imagine how many grey options there are!! We narrowed it to 4 and purchased $2 test tubs from Lowes.  I painted test patches around the room to see how they looked in different lights.  Some grey is blue, some looks more green, some end up looking beige, and some turn a room into a cave...  

We settled on Dorian Gray - the 3rd one down.  The irony of using Dorian Gray in a baby's room was not lost on us. It wasn't too dark, and didn't seem blue or green to us.  We used a no-VOC paint so there wouldn't be fumes. We also ran two HEPA filter fans for 48 hours to get rid of any non-baby friendly air. It never smelled like a freshly painted room - that was good peace of mind.

Our nursery is technically an office, so it has french doors that we leave wide open (except for naps and bedtime).  Here's the right side of the room (there's a closet behind that door):

...and here's the left!

Here's a full view of the nursery (with notes below)

1) There is a beautiful ink drawing by my sister, and lots of pictures to help learn family members

2) Custom artwork I made that chronicles all of the special places to me and the hubs

3) A clock that can be seen from the chair - to time feedings

4) A stylebabyLOG book to track feedings/diapers

5) A custom Bumbo cover to match the room (also a HEPA filter fan stayed in the room)

6) A lamp who's base lights up as a nightlight (don't want to turn on the overhead light for night feeds)

7) 2 hampers and a trash can hidden in a corner

8) mom & dad looking over a sleeping baby :)

9) a mini-crib to take up less space - converts into a toddler bed and a headboard (hooray for multipurpose!)

10) hidden burp cloth stash and bottles of water

11) amazing chair referenced in this post

12) Boppy with homemade cover to match

13) rug that will be comfortable when the babe starts crawling around (also hides stains)

And yes, we have a TV in the nursery.  It was helpful for those hours-on-end sessions when the babe just didn't want to be alone.  It's also nice to have something on in the background when we're playing on the floor.

We figure the dresser, the TV/book stand, the rug, curtains, and the shelves can be used well into teenage years (or sent to other rooms in the house).

DIY tutorials coming soon on the custom pieces!!

What is your favorite part of your nursery? Do you have any super-personal touches?